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an incomplete sorting of superheroes

andhumanslovedstories:

andhumanslovedstories:

people with genuine and valid superpowers in Infinity War

  • thor: thunder god 
  • wanda: big red magic witch
  • dr strange: wizard
  • t’challa: super panther sprint master
  • nebula: robot powered by rage
  • peter parker: whatever a spider can
  • groot: tree puberty

essentially a fit dude with a gun

  • rhodey: tank with gun
  • tony: fancier tank with gun
  • bruce: borrowed tank with gun
  • sam: bird with gun
  • peter quill: kid on roller skates with gun
  • bucky: old guy with gun
  • rocket: raccoon with gun

essentially a fit dude who is too good for your shitty gun

  • okoye: “so primitive”. wields a laser spear and the side-eye. 
  • natasha: won second place at nationals for baton twirling. killed the first place winner with her batons. 
  • mantis who technically has superpowers but they are balanced out by her terminal case of Gentle Soul: kick names, take ass!! I am just happy to be here!! >:D (the > is antenna. also her scary face) 

steve rogers for the record wavers between the first and last category on the grounds that he probably does have superpowers but it also seems like chris evans could really catch a helicopter in his hands which makes steve’s only real superpowers “gumption” and “willingness to try to catch the helicopter” and again, i believe in chris evans

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